just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
