Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
