I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
