Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
