I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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