we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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