if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
