mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i don't like sucking hair
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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