i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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