I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize