I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
