You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
