so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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