Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize