if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
