dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
