Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
