It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
