Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
