Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
