she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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