nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
