we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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