Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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