i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
