i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i will never coherently bang her
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
NoShamevember. You game?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
