Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Your tits are I can't wait for
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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