On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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