Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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