Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
