My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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