4 words: hood of his car
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
