I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
