the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
