Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize