You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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