that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize