I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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