she pinky promised me she was 18
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize