He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
