maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she smelled like a LAN party
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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