Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
