No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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