My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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