i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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