omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
