We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize