I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize