if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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