I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
