on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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