Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
