if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
