He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
