none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the day after is always just damage control
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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