she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
