i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize