If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
