If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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