i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
