maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize