apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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