Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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