I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
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