he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
