Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
