any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
